Last weekend I wrapped up my time onstage in a production of The Savannah Sipping Society. I felt fortunate to have been cast in a role that was different than what I usually play.
While I knew my time with the show-- the cast, the crew, the script-- would be rewarding and fun (it always is), I wasn't sure how my experience with the character would feel.
I met some new people, re-connected with some folks I haven't worked with in awhile, and I enjoyed the creative process and the teamwork it takes to put a show together. I even enjoyed the challenge of memorizing a dialogue-heavy script. As the weeks went on and I became more familiar with the character, I went home more than one night thinking about MarlaFaye long after rehearsal had ended, and I wasn't sure she was likable. MarlaFaye is an angry loudmouth from Texas, she has no fashion sense and no manners, and doesn't seem to care what anybody thinks. While I know not every character is likable, and sometimes it's all right not to be, I couldn't help thinking there was something positive in her that I wanted to uncover.
I came to realize that MarlaFaye ( or MF, as I was tempted to call her, but quickly realized that is NOT a good nickname!), carries pain and fear and disappointment that is coming out sideways as anger and a desire for revenge on her cheating ex. She's loud and she speaks before thinking and doesn't hold back--she's brutally honest. She has a self-deprecating sense of humor--she'll make fun of herself before anyone else can.
I learned some other stuff about her too, some things that might be worth remembering as I put away my script and move on to my next project.
1: Remember where you came from: MarlaFaye mentions that she gets her ability to think positive in challenging times from her Daddy. ("He always said bury him in his 4 wheel drive pickup, because it ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get me out of.") She says she learned not to put the cart before the horse from her mother. ("My mama didn't raise no fool!") My own parents have taught me so many life lessons that have served me well, and I find myself looking to those lessons even now as I've spent the last year rebuilding my own life.
2: Try new things: MarlaFaye has a new home, a new job, new friendships, and a new outlook. The very point of her time with the Savannah ladies is about trying new things. While I'm not planning on trying hot yoga, swimming with snapping turtles, or going salsa dancing, I have made an effort to try new things in the past year. It's good to step out of our comfort zone!
3: Know when to pack it up: It's really never too late to start over, is it? What a relief to know that you can choose to move away from the things that aren't good for you, and to know that good things will find you if you open yourself to them. While MarlaFaye's reason for packing it up and hitting the road was somewhat different than mine, I still see myself in her, and I've been reminded again and again that I still have time to create a new life.
4: Find some loyal friends: The ladies of the Savannah Sipping Society cast and crew are actually some of my dearest friends in my real life, which made my adventure with MarlaFaye even sweeter. Girlfriends are so important as we navigate life's challenges. I'm fortunate to have good friends in many different circles, and they definitely have made my transition and life changes easier.
5: Step boldly into your new life: MarlaFaye actually gets the chance to finish old business once she gets settled in her new life. Her confidence grows, she's open to new relationships, and her anger turns to happiness by the end of the show. ("You can't let your past block your plans for the future.")
That last lesson is one I haven't quite mastered yet, but I'm getting there. It's becoming easier for me to make my own decisions. It's less scary being on my own, because time and again I'm seeing that I will be ok. I've welcomed new people into my space, and my life is richer for it. If MarlaFaye can start over and live to tell about it, so can I.
I always leave a show with new knowledge about myself, and I usually see ways that a small piece of a character leaves a mark on me long after the curtain comes down. I'm not bitter and angry like good ol' MarlaFaye, but I am learning to to jumpstart a new life like she did. She is likable after all. I'm all right with hanging onto a little bit of her as I move forward--but I'll leave her Crocs, Pringles, and Twinkies behind!
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